Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Ignoring you

I hate myself for liking someone that is not in my mind previously. (Did I just said I like him?)

It started with an initiative of our officemate to tease us. That doesn't annoy me because I have no feeling towards him and never thought of being with him. Reason?
1. a year younger than me
2. soft spoken
3. extremely shy guy

But then, the scandal started to spread within these 2 months and the best part he did showed some of the positive response which shall I say he started to like me? (this is my feeling)
1. get me a chair
2. staring at me (was told by my officemate)
3. ask for a photo with me (which I purposely take with others too)
4. ....
5. ....
6. ....

Damn, I started to like him. So, I whatsapp him and asked for an answer (am I too aggressive on this?) He said..
1. not ready yet
2. he cant accept anyone for the time being

OK. simple yet easy. I said to him, we stop being 'friends' as I don't like any uncertain relationship as it will go nowhere.

(my phone rang)
a call from him.
why is he calling me?
not because of I don't want to talk but my whatsapp mic is off. Haha.
and talk for 2 hours.
what is this? I thought its over and why are you talking to me on the phone for almost 2 hours for something personal?
I sense something that he is not ready to be in a relationship but prefer to be closed with someone.
up to him.

I never felt any frustration on the answer. I am seriously ok. but I dunno why I'm interested to know about him more.

Allah, please give me an answer for this. Keep me away from him if he is not the one and replace me for someone that is better than him. I just cant control my feelings.