I know that I can never make u happy

Pengorbanan itu menyakitkan
Pengorbanan itu menyeksakan
Pengorbanan itu membinasakan
Pengorbanan itu sia-sia

Even though we were being separated since ramadhan till Dec 19,
I never hate u..I care about u..I hope u were at home all the time.
3 weeks u are in Malaysia, I always plan something that can make u happy.

U said to me before that I will be ur driver, but then I'm currently working. No leave can be made for the interns. I did something bad just to make u happy. In returns, I got nothing. Just the 'ketakutan' covered my whole day and body. I can only bring u out at night or weekends only but u never want to understand me.

People makes mistakes. If I was rude to u don't take into heart. Confront me. I hate people talking behind my back.

Yesterday, I went back home at 6.30pm. I asked u and the others to accompany me to SACC but no one wants. I went to the bank alone, withdrew my allowance just to treat u and the others. I purposely bought u a slice of strawberry marshmallow cake and the others big apple's donuts but no one cares what i'm doing. I waited for almost 1 hour there just to get a fresh donuts. I went around all the shop lots alone. I hate walking here and there alone. End up, when I bring all the foods back home, nobody seems very interested. Disappointment covered my body again. My effort to make people happy worthless, priceless.

I sewed for u 2 baju kurungs but u seems not happy with that. U seems not going to bring back ur baju kurung. Sorry, I can't make a perfect baju kurung since I don't know how to sew the kain part.

Today is the holiday. I asked u for an outing at pyramid, but then u didn't said anything but u went to follow the other sister of yours to seri kembangan. Upset. I feel upset.

U said u don't wanna go to penang because u don't feel good. but u never thought of ur cousins that are waiting for u. u never thought of sending ur lil brother back to campus. at least he feels more spiritual to study hard. All u think is ur plan with ur other sister. Truly from my heart I wanna stay home too because I wanna be with u all but then, I don't feel it is a good idea because I will ruin all ur plans, so I decided to follow my parents to penang and see all my cousins. At least, i don't feel that terrible.

But somehow I feel great that u did this to me because I know I won't miss u that much when I send u back at the airport. I know tears won't fall down from my sepet eyes because I know I am just a black sheep in the family that always being left out by others.

Thanx for doing this to me. I love u so much even though u hated me.

Happy New Year everyone.

That old women really pissed me off!

I'm working today!!

I've been working for 4 days since 1 Dec.
Since the first day, I did filing.
Today also, I'm gonna do the filing but..

How about tomorrow?
Do I really have the chance to be like a Tax Assistant?

Oh by the way, I am a Vacation Trainee.
They call the interns as the VTs but not CHEAP LABOR!
It pissed me off.
We know we're being paid at the lowest cost.

We care about EXPERIENCE! not the ALLOWANCE!
Take note of that old lady!